Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions, No spicy hot food and no food with onions, Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring, These are a few of my favorite things. There’s a man sitting at the next table listening to all this, having a chuckle to himself. ", "Best Senior Site ever on the Web! Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?”, George replied, “God and me are tight. Again he came over to their table and offered to buy some food. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth. So she went back to her seat and sat down. The old man gets up, shuffles over to her, leans over and asks "So, do I come here often?".
It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn’t an Olympic event. “Yes. He thinks, ‘I’ve got to see this, two old-timers having sex against a fence.’ So he follows them. "That's not a problem," the doctor told her. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed.
I’ve had to turn the knob on lots of occasions and I’ve loved the results. If you want even more humor, check out our best old jokes, because, like wine, jokes get better as they age! The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her parlor.
After the two men were finished, they started walking home and began to talking. Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. He'll never even know." 7. OLD IS WHEN….. It takes up a lot of your time. Click here for more information. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes 05. l. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Suddenly a young man tried to cut in line and was subsequently beaten by an old woman with a cane and chased back to his car. They were used to sharing everything. I opened the door, she looked at me and said: “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to go dancing and drinking, and maybe fool around a little....you know, have some fun.
“Well, she replied, “he has one cat house in Kansas City and another in New Orleans.”. Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen’s home. The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar,.. 13. "Emma come first. I mean, life is tough. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. I pulled alongside the youngster and asked, “Son, what’s the matter? Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set, and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day, so they could travel together. And how about those pantyhoseThey’re sized by weight, you see, So how come when I put them on, The crotch is at my knees? But, I had to call because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. P.S. “What does he do for a living?”. On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. This story is a credit to all humankind . Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. S&H Green Stamps 16. Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside. No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home. The world was made round so that we would never be able to see too far down the road. You should die first, get it out of the way.
She said: “You use to hold my hand when we were courting.”. And if I’m so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”, The young rooster says, “Sure, why not, you know I’ll still beat you.”. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. A few moments later she said: “Then you use to kiss me.”. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Not me, I live next to a sexy senior citizen with a prosthetic leg! The next day the second guy steps on a duck, and sure enough, St. Peter comes with another real ugly woman and chains them together. When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn’t hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in “Monopoly.” Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee”, replied another. Do you sleep OK?" I’ve got “character lines,” not wrinkles … for sure. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. Grandpa said, “When you’re first married, you want it all the time maybe several times a day. which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. Don’t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. If you need more…take a gander at our Sexy Senior Jokes Book and our Best New Jokes Compilation: Mostly Old Jokes. On his very first day he kills 200 senior citizens going around the curve at 600 miles per hour. They are both senior citizens and have begun losing their memory. “Ooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea,” she answers. This is the most athletic sex imaginable.
He is driving one of these Mercedes models that have the Mercedes emblem as a hood ornament. Den two asses come together. Bestseller No. 70-year old George went for his annual physical. Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. He chains them together and leaves without saying a word. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. Enjoy our collection of senior jokes and old couple jokes in our Best Senior Jokes Book. Doc, Doc Goose.
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Lady V/S Gentleman In Bus, Hilarious All Time Best Women Joke: New Husband Store. My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another went on…. He goes to his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date. It can do 30 aisles per hour! "Breast-fed," she replied. Finally, they get to the back of the barn and make their way to the fence. Washtub wringers, If you remembered 0 to 5, you’re still young. The first guy accidentally steps on one, and soon here comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman you’ve ever seen.